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Thursday, September 19th, 2002
1:28 am - unfinished story more to come
STREAM OF CONCIOUSNESS : TO THE EXTREME
EXTREME OF CONCIOUSNESS

Dunlap opened the gate from hell even though king Foo Foo the Firest told him no to. To Dunlap Hell would be paradise, sanctuary from the gory maddening depths of madness. Burning in the blissful, joyous flames of sweet death would be number 1 on his list of favorite things to do, right next to Happy Weasel Death Hour! Being banned on 30 continents, Dunlap sold human organs (freshly ripped) and all species of corpses to make the millions needed to buy all the bootleg tapes. The only copies of this fabled childhood Saturday morning delight were stored in small crates in Japan under a red-light district whore/crack house. And in this Crack Whore house is where our story begins, long ago, in the days of Fong.
Once inside the pleasurable “sucky, sucky” drug loop, its hard to make heads or tails of anything and you never want to leave, but the sounds of moist chuckling chainsaws in the distance persuade you to do otherwise. At the desk, Ming Li, assures you that the noise is only construction; something is different about the whore today, her smell is much stronger than usual and pieces of flesh are sliding off her sagging tits, you also notice there isn’t only fungus growing on her dripping genetailia, its all over her body and there seem to be many varieties. So, Techno Destructo left... after ravaging her.
Something small and shiny with intricate etchings on it fell forth from his gludias maximus as he galumphed out the door onto the violent city streets. This was not only the key that millions have searched for centuries to full-fill the time ask, age-old question, (does Hell exist?) but it was also a key to the weasels! Ming Li’s mutilated and dismembered head slowly slithered across the floor propelled by a ferociously wriggling spinal stump, reaching the object, she slurped it up into her now empty brain pan hopefully for ever more, but misfortune befell the human race that day. Ming Li is Fucked Up!!!
200 Years Later: The sun beat down on the house of whoring like a million strike anywhere matches, it was only 3 am, the sun had been scorching the village this way for the past 2 months day and night; Dunlap wiped a pint of sweat from his brow as he confirmed he had the right address; finally, the weasels would be his own.

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Wednesday, September 12th, 2001
11:17 pm - A short History of GWAR
Billions of years ago, the great Master Of All Reality created the Universe by taking a shit. When finished his business he had to wipe, and decided to do it with war. Thus the Scumdogs Of The Universe were born. The Scumdogs are a group of elite warriors selected from the foulest living filth, chaotic and disease-ridden beings that would later come to be known as GWAR. Being extremely skilled GWAR managed to rape and pillage their way across half the galaxy before the Master saw his folly. The Master tried to foil GWARs devious plans by banishing them to a pitiful mud ball, known to us as Earth. The first thing the space pirates did was to kill the dinosaurs because one of them consumed a member of the Scumdogs (he is free now because of the natural process of digestion). Then they created music by stretching their innards across the Grand Canyon and plucking ever so lightly. Because the only female in the group withheld her womanly charm, the males of GWAR inadvertently created the human race by mating with apes. GWAR are responsible for some of the worlds great mysteries as well. They created Stonehenge as a croquet court out of boredom one day, Flattus created the Sahara desert and parted the red sea with his horrific gas, they held a huge party that sunk Atlantis after which, Beefcake urinated for forty days and forty nights, and the indescribable acts of Balsac are responsible for the multiple occurrences of genetic mutants (minotaurs, satyrs, centaurs ect.) in ancient Greece. After the Master saw all this he banished GWAR once again to the frozen wastelands of Antarctica where they were entombed in ice. GWAR than slept for many years in the ice but still managed to control human destiny with telepathic suggestion, creating corruption and hairspray. Yes, GWAR willed humanity to invent hairspray then, willed them to use excessive amounts by idolizing their poofy-haired rock stars thus creating a hole in the ozone over GWARs icy prison. The green house effect then thawed out the still sleeping Scumdogs in their glacial crypt. Sleazy P. Martini, known pimp, drug pusher, child pornographer, record executive for Capitalist Records, and ex-U.S. Congressman, was on the run for the outrageous antics of bands under his management and tax evasion. In a brutal aerial battle his private jet-copter was shot down over Antarctica. Left for dead, Sleazy stumbled out of the burning wreak and unknowingly took shelter where GWAR slept. When he came upon them he awoke the space pirates and convinced them to come to New York with him. There Sleazy gave them electric guitars and since then has exploited them as a rock and roll band. Though, GWAR themselves think they are using music as a means to reclaim Earth and eventually take over the Universe.Billions of years ago, the great Master Of All Reality created the Universe by (pardon my bluntness) taking a crap. When finished his business he had to wipe, and decided to do it with war. Thus the Scumdogs Of The Universe were born. The Scumdogs are a group of elite warriors selected from the foulest living filth, chaotic and disease-ridden beings that would later come to be known as GWAR. Being extremely skilled GWAR managed to rape and pillage their way across half the galaxy before the Master saw his folly. The Master tried to foil GWARs devious plans by banishing them to a pitiful mud ball, known to us as Earth. The first thing the space pirates did was to kill the dinosaurs because one of them consumed a member of the Scumdogs (he is free now because of the natural process of digestion). Then they created music by stretching their innards across the Grand Canyon and plucking ever so lightly. Because the only female in the group withheld her womanly charm, the males of GWAR inadvertently created the human race by mating with apes. GWAR are responsible for some of the worlds great mysteries as well. They created Stonehenge as a croquet court out of boredom one day, Flattus created the Sahara desert and parted the red sea with his horrific gas, they held a huge party that sunk Atlantis after which, Beefcake urinated for forty days and forty nights, and the indescribable acts of Balsac are responsible for the multiple occurrences of genetic mutants (minotaurs, satyrs, centaurs ect.) in ancient Greece. After the Master saw all this he banished GWAR once again to the frozen wastelands of Antarctica where they were entombed in ice. GWAR than slept for many years in the ice but still managed to control human destiny with telepathic suggestion, creating corruption and hairspray. Yes, GWAR willed humanity to invent hairspray then, willed them to use excessive amounts by idolizing their poofy-haired rock stars thus creating a hole in the ozone over GWARs icy prison. The green house effect then thawed out the still sleeping Scumdogs in their glacial crypt. Sleazy P. Martini, known pimp, drug pusher, child pornographer, record executive for Capitalist Records, and ex-U.S. Congressman, was on the run for the outrageous antics of bands under his management and tax evasion. In a brutal aerial battle his private jet-copter was shot down over Antarctica. Left for dead, Sleazy stumbled out of the burning wreak and unknowingly took shelter where GWAR slept. When he came upon them he awoke the space pirates and convinced them to come to New York with him. There Sleazy gave them electric guitars and since then has exploited them as a rock and roll band. Though, GWAR themselves think they are using music as a means to reclaim Earth and eventually take over the Universe.

This is my adaptation of the history of GWAR. There are many characters and details left out. In fact, if I had added them all it would have surely been a novel. To pull together this brief history I had to consult many sources (websites, albums, videos ect.). There are bits and pieces of the GWAR story everywhere, they even have comic books out, but it is not written in any one source. Because of this some facts are conflicting so I chose the ones that seemed to fit better. I had to sieve through mountains of nonsense to compile this understandable myth.

this was taken from a paper i wrote on the scumdogs

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11:06 pm - .........
yeah well ill put something interesting here soon okay!!! don't bug me!

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Sunday, January 14th, 2001
2:23 am - General Tso's chicken EXTRA SPICY
just about every weekend my friend sky and i go to our favorite chinese resturant Win Sing. while were there we usually order the same thing we always get general tso's chicken most of the time combination platters with yummy soup, but sky always orders his extra spicy. which has become sort of the mundane, strangly along with our hushed dinner conversation. why it no longer shocks me i cannot say, maybe i put it off as too ridiculious to be true, but down deep i just know it is.
he has an unatural obsession with the young waitress there, stacy, but it goes much further than just wanting her to serve us all of the time. in fact he gets down right irate if she dosen't and if she's out on a house run he slowly starts to break down untill her return.
now stacy is an attractive young woman, in her late twenties i belive, but i do think that his violent throws of passion are a little uncalled for. his sick fantasies could make larry flint cringe (or maybe not). while i'm eating he relates to me how he would just love to get down and dirty with her in his general tso's right there in the resturant. he would rub her down with the delicious (plum?) sauce you get with chinese pizza. he would then gently lick it off calling her his one and only "seshuan dream". later he would lube up an eggroll with a generous amount of egg drop soup, then thrust it into her kung pao.
ok ive already said too much. you can imagine the rest or maybe you shouldn't. yes it is true i'm quite used to these more than racey tales. now that i think back i'm feeling a little green around the gills and that eggroll in my fridge is going in the trash!!

current mood: nauseated

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Sunday, January 7th, 2001
1:18 am - hear me out
why is it that everyone black metal has to be so serious all of the time i mean its no fun dude none at all you have to have fun sometimes ya know? you can't just be a stone wall lacking of emotion all of the time and in fact it could be far more evil to show emotion in some cases first let's take the asatru aproch... our crazy viking ancestors had fun all of the time their thunderous laughs could be heard echoing for mile across the icy landscapes on long winter nights and im as pro grisnackh as the next dude but come on some of those cartoons are funny in a little kid sort of a way its all for fun i love drawing cartoons of my friends they don't get offended and they draw cartoons of me you can't be ser4ious all the time
now for our satanist or just plain evil friends....now come on you can be in the fun as well ok so when your mercilessly killing priests or those stupid lambs of god or whoever would'nt it be just as or even more cruel to laugh at them and to really enjoy it instead of just being callous and emotionless come on they would just cry and beg harder now satan himself he loves fun come on its god who wants you to be lame and boring and good he loves dirty jokes clean jokes alcohol anything you do paling around with your buddies would be well appreciated by him if dedicated with a christ mocking smile to the almighty goat lord
i do agree that black metal is a very serious art form and shouldn't be taken with a grain of salt like some great comedy bands out there like GWAR or tenacious d or something but i do belive the members of the scene sometimes take things way too seriously for their own good with all this we must be evil imagry your not untrue for having fun it dosen't make you any more human either (if thats your problem) animals like to have fun and real humans today worry themsleves with petty things like work and school and have no time for true fun so therefore metal people are different so next time you drink you cerimonial mead or fuck a corpse or spit on the image of that bastard son of the holy whore do it with a triumphant smile on your face

current mood: creative

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Friday, December 29th, 2000
3:43 am - sprechen sie deutsch bitte!
Wenn es nach rechts funktioniert, sollte diese vollstndige Eintragung auf Deutsch sein ich hoffe, da es nach rechts funktioniert. So spreche ich auf Deutsch und Sie haben keine Idee, was ich sage. Das zutreffende ist ich betrog und benutzte einen on-line-bersetzer. Sowieso gutes Glck, das dieses liest.

current mood: predatory

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Sunday, December 10th, 2000
10:53 pm - sky's butter
im just writing again for the hell of it and i really have nothing to say i have too much energy for this time of night and i should be doing my mounds of homework that i have but im not ccause i want to see what the silly bouncing smiley face is gonna look like but now heres the subject posted ... my friend sky has this very strange butter container no one out side of his family knows what the hell they are doing with it i think i kinda figured it out one day (what it does how it works) but im still not sure so anyway his friend jack slept over last night and this morning (actually afternoon) they woke up and wanted to eat and needed butter with their food (no one needs butter i don't use it but ya know) and when they were done eating and had to clean up sky gave the butter to jack and told him to put it away of course jack had no idea how to put it away and did it wrong so when skys parents see how the butter was put away they start to yell at him but he tells them it was jack and know they think hes lazy or something but in reality no normal person knows how to work their butter container and they are insane

current mood: bouncy

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10:30 pm - hardgore mp3s
a member of hardgore, the worst band ever, is trying to get me to download some of his crappy mp3s but they are so crappy that they don't even work so now im writing this in hopes that he will read it once i give him the link and maybe fix them some time so i can acctually hear them and not just say there crappy cause i wanna make fun of him

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Friday, December 8th, 2000
1:10 am - howdy do
i made a journal or some thing yippie!

current mood: dorky

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